Breaking Up With Social Media

Vol. 71

In This Issue: ESSAY | NOW READ THIS | TAKE ACTION | IN PERSON | FINAL FRAME

I have been online since 1994. I was 13 years old and my family purchased a Macintosh Power PC that had a whopping 14.4 bps modem included. It was the first time we owned a computer that could connect to other computers through the phone line.

I was absolutely enraptured by the possibilities. It didn’t help that the movie “Hackers,” released that next year, fed me an image of slick, rebellious, and very hot computer hackers who all used Macs to fight the man. It wouldn’t take me long to figure out that you couldn’t, in fact, do much in the way of actual hacking on a Macintosh, but that didn’t stop me from trying/dreaming. 

What the modem did do, however, was allow me to dial into a local BBS called the Lunatic Phringe. A BBS (short for bulletin board system) was a server, often hosted by a private individual, that other people could log into via the phone (and how many people depending on how many phone lines that server had feeding into it) to chat with each other, play games, and share files. If you’re familiar with platforms like Discord, they were sort of an early version of that. They existed before even AOL Online introduced chatrooms to the masses. 

The Lunatic Phringe did host its share of hacker material and pirated files, but mostly it was a place where a bunch of misfit weirdos from the area where I lived at the time stayed up late into the night talking about absolute nonsense, being horny, and occasionally organizing in-person meet-ups.

I did eventually expand to using AOL Online, ICQ, irc, and other chat room platforms. I learned how to code HTML and built my first website on Angelfire (which is still, miraculously, available online - and no I won’t tell you how to find it). When MySpace and LiveJournal arrived on the scene, I joined both and used them regularly. They felt like the natural progression of the systems I’d been using, and the appeal of being able to share my words and music preferences with an even wider audience–especially as an aspiring writer and musician–was deeply appealing. 

Facebook followed, and at first it felt amazing to be able to more easily connect and keep up with people I knew from my current life and from the various places I’d lived over time. Instagram eventually offered a place to share photography, too. 

Twitter was, for a time, the main way I received and shared breaking news from around the world, organized political activism, and shared work. Twitter played an absolutely vital role in the Wisconsin Uprising of 2011, when tens of thousands of people descended on the capitol in Madison to protest then-Governor Scott Walker’s move to destroy public employee unions. I spent countless hours reporting from on-the-ground, using the text-to-Twitter function on my non-smartphone to send updates about what was actually happening. That time was basically how I cut my teeth as an advocacy journalist. More importantly, I ended up meeting scores of people through the #wiunion hashtag used to keep track of related posts, many of whom I remain friends with to this day.

Somewhere along the way, I started getting paid for my web and social media knowledge. I designed the first webpage for my college’s theater department (back when they just let you do things like that!). After school, I eventually became part of the first wave of social media professionals–which meant I was generally underpaid and working for people who had no idea what social media was about and largely ignored/left me to my own devices. I’ve managed various social media accounts professionally and personally ever since. I’ve had friends catch sight of the number of logged in Instagram accounts on my phone and nearly choke. I’m not proud of this, exactly. It’s just my life.

But lately, it’s become clear that it’s no longer a sustainable or particularly healthy part of my life. I’m not of the belief that all social media is always bad, or that it has no redeeming qualities. I’ve gained a lot from the ability to get to know and even meet real people, learn about important issues, share community news and events, and find meaningful connections through the apps. As a queer young person in particular, it was a crucial part of helping me learn about myself and others like me, to see a future I could live in.

But so much of what was/is good about social media has been steadily tainted and enshittified by the companies that own and operate the platforms, especially in recent years. Twitter’s acquisition by the world’s richest asshole and subsequent transition into a platform almost solely populated by Nazis, trolls, and disinformation; Facebook’s acquisition of Instagram and transformation into Meta, now funding Trump while removing fact-checking and protections against hate speech; YouTube’s algorithm pushing people towards conspiracy theories and right-wing messaging.

The actively harmful stuff being done by the billionaire owners of these companies is enough to make me seriously reconsider if and how I engage with them. Add to that the fact that my newsfeeds are filled with horrific images and videos of actual disasters and atrocities–the genocide in Gaza, mass death in Sudan, people being kidnapped and disappeared by immigration officials in the United States, floods and fires everywhere, the list goes on….

It’s a near-constant assault on my nervous system. I want to be informed, and I care deeply about what’s happening, but having hundreds of traumatic stories fed to me by an algorithm that also intersperses updates about cute animals and friends’ milestones is fucking jarring. And I don’t think it’s actually helping me be a meaningfully engaged, helpful community member anymore. It’s making me feel overwhelmed and burned out and despairing.

I’ve also noticed that it takes more work for me to stay focused enough to finish reading longer articles. That I habitually flick open my phone to browse social media whenever I have a spare moment. I feel twitchy when I don’t regularly check in on my accounts.

And I realize that it’s taking away time I’d rather be using to focus on things like my writing, and on ways of connecting with people that don’t rely on algorithms and major corporations. I’m interested in exploring new and old ways of communicating with people–email, letters, community meetings, direct texting, magazines and newspapers and paper flyers and ‘zines. All of it takes more work, more time and intention, but feels, to me, infinitely more connective and far less disjointed.

There’s still so much hard news in the world. I don’t want to ignore it. I just want to find ways to engage that feel more sustainable, more thoughtful, and less utterly overwhelming. 

All of which is to say, I’m starting by taking a break. I’ll be going completely off social media for at least two weeks, starting in mid-August. I’m aiming to make it through Labor Day, but might go for longer. I’ll still be reachable and reaching out directly via other means, but the apps? I’m deleting them from my phone.

It’s going to be an interesting experiment! After being terminally online for so long, I know there will be some serious brain rewiring to do. I’m nervous but I’m excited about it. It’s not the answer to all my troubles, but I know it’ll be a good reset and check-in, at least. Time to reassess my priorities and shift some habits, hopefully for the better.

Wish me luck. 

Hack the planet. 

Now Read This.

“The magic of showing up” [Mariame Kaba]

“Civilization is a stream with banks. The stream is sometimes filled with blood from people killing, stealing, shouting, and doing things historians usually record—while, on the banks, unnoticed, people build homes, make love, raise children, sing songs, write poetry, whittle statues. The story of civilization is the story of what happens on the banks.”

“The war without end in Gaza” [Abdaljawad Omar for Mondoweiss]

It appears that Israel has descended into a state of unrestrained hubris—relentlessly inaugurating and re-inaugurating military campaigns in Gaza, each one collapsing into the next in an almost mechanical cycle, as though strategy itself has been subsumed by the imperative to project force without respite.

“The Media Capitulation Index” [Margaret Sullivan]

It’s a growing crisis of the press abdicating its responsibility to hold powerful people and institutions accountable. In response, Free Press, a 20-year-old media-advocacy nonprofit (definitely not to be confused with Bari Weiss’s similarly named company founded in 2021) did extensive research over many months. The result is a thorough new examination of how well — or poorly— the American press is doing that core mission. And why it’s mostly failing.

“He had a mental breakdown talking to ChatGPT. Then police killed him.” [Miles Klee for Rolling Stone]

“It’s not just that the large language models themselves are compelling to people, which they are,” Halpern says. “It’s that the for-profit companies have the old social media model: keep the users’ eyes on the app. They use techniques to incentivize overuse, and that creates dependency, supplants real life relationships for certain people, and puts people at risk even of addiction.” Some individuals’ self-destructive dependence on AI to make sense of the world through religious prophecy, sci-fi technobabble, conspiracy theories, or all of the above has led to family rifts, divorces, and gradual alienation from society itself. Taylor’s death is a sobering example of how those wrapped up in chatbot relationships may also become a danger to themselves.

Take Action.

Download the new, free, “How to Organize Your Friends and Foes” ‘zine from (my state representative) Francesca Hong, Timothy Faust, and Garrett Bucks.

You can still help get resources to the people of Gaza via the Sameer Project. Medical aid, food, shelter, and more are all vitally needed.

In Person.

I have the pleasure of DJing a fun dance party this Friday, August 15 as a fundraiser for GSAFE, and I hope you’ll come by! GSAFE provides direct support for queer and trans young people in Wisconsin, something that’s needed more than ever. 

The party will run from 8:15 to 10:15 p.m. at the Aubergine community space at 1226 Williamson St. in Madison (right next door to Cafe Coda). There’s a $10-15 suggested donation at the door. The music will be all ‘80s and ‘90s, and the dress theme is athletic wear! 

Final Frame.

Spirit Lake (Devil’s Lake State Park) with my girl, on a smoky day in early August. It’s incredibly unsettling that “wildfire smoke from Canada” seems to be a new normal for Wisconsin’s summers.

Final Frame.

Take care of your heart. Free Palestine.