Interview: Valentine on Sex Workers’ Rights and Why We Should All Care More

Vol. 63

In This Issue: ESSAY/INTERVIEW | NOW READ THIS | FINAL FRAME

With the current maelstrom of fuckery coming out of the White House and its allies, the overwhelm is the point. It’s almost impossible to keep track of the many and varied ways the Trump Administration is attempting (and often succeeding) to unravel the meager civil rights protections and functional social safety nets/systems we’ve fought to create over the past 100 years or so.

One of the categories of rights that was too often overlooked or written off even before our present moment, and which now faces even stronger headwinds, is that of sex workers. A lot of folks still lack understanding, either willfully or unintentionally, about what sex work is and isn’t. Too many of us also fail to see why we should care about their rights and working conditions at all. I certainly used to be among that group. It’s largely thanks to my friendships and acquaintances with actual sex workers that I’ve even begun to have a better understanding of how the stigma and systemic barriers used against them have a ripple–if not direct–effect on all of us.

We should care because we should care about other people, first and foremost, and we should care because the issues that impact sex workers are fundamentally the same issues that impact us all: bodily autonomy (i.e. the right to make our own decisions about the work we do and how we use our bodies both professionally and personally), financial freedom, sexual/reproductive health, consent, and privacy, to name a few.

I could go on, but instead I realized I should turn to the people I know who have the most direct knowledge about the subject. In this case, that’s Valentine, someone I’ve known for years via our association through burlesque and performance art. They’re also a longtime sex worker and advocate. 

These days, Valentine is still doing all the things I listed above and recently added “has a law degree” to their impressive resume. They are now the Deputy Executive Director for the Free Speech Coalition, the non-profit, non-partisan trade association and advocacy group for the adult industry. And they were kind enough to take some time out of their very busy schedule to chat with me about their work, sex workers rights, and more.

(Consider this the first in a new series I’m planning to produce, focused on interviews with awesome people I know who are involved in/knowledgeable about a wide variety of things that I think are relevant to us all and important to know more about. I hope you enjoy–and consider becoming a paid subscriber, which will help me keep doing this!)

–The following interview has been edited for length and clarity–

EM: Thank you so much for taking some time to talk to me today. It’s been too long! Can you tell me a little about how you’d describe yourself, your work, and a little about your background?

V: It’s so good to see you! Thanks for reaching out. I’m the Deputy Executive Director of the Free Speech Coalition and a Professional Sex Worker, Consultant, and Attorney. My background is in performing arts and sex work.

I’ve spent years building my career in those spaces, doing creative business consulting for others, and meanwhile got my Masters in Business before deciding to go to law school. A lot of people like to project that I saved myself by pulling myself up into law, but really I pulled myself down into the mire of law.

During my time in law school I was able to connect, somewhat whimsically, to an amazing mentor who was with the First Amendment Lawyers Association and the Free Speech Coalition. Their focus was and is on addressing banking discrimination in the sex work industry.

EM: What does that look like? How do banks discriminate against people in the industry?

V: Basically, banks will shut down your accounts, without any recourse or option to investigate and clear yourself, if they even suspect that you’re engaging in sex work, likening it to trafficking, though these are two very different things, but often the people in charge lump them together without caring. For sex workers, having your bank account shut down suddenly like that, it can be a matter of life and death. 

For instance, I’m working now with someone who has lost 35 or 36 different accounts, and they’ve never done any criminalized work. 

EM: What on Earth?!

V: We’re talking about things like cam work, pro-dommes, and other things that aren’t even criminalized. But banks see lots of little transactions, as you’d get from an OnlyFans account or something like that, and they just assume it’s criminal activity and shut you down. And you can’t get access to your money, it’s just frozen. 

FYI, when a bank closes your account like this, they can legally hold your money for up to six months! With platforms like Paypal or Venmo, you generally don’t get anything back at all. It’s a black hole.

Politicians tell you when they make laws that there’s a right way and a wrong way to do things, but even when you follow the law, when it comes to sex work in particular, because some people think it’s “icky,” it doesn’t matter. The laws are written to be vague and enforcement is extremely arbitrary, or based on specific biases.

EM: Speaking of vague and problematic laws, can you talk about how FOSTA-SESTA has impacted things? I remember it being a big, red-alert from sex workers and advocates when it passed.

V: Yeah, it’s not great. Elizabeth Warren’s office recently reintroduced a bill–the SAFE SEX Workers Study Act–to mandate research on the impact of FOSTA-SESTA. Sure would have been great to do that before implementing the law. The Free Speech Coalition and other groups have signed on to support Warren’s law.  

I personally support it not because it’s a solution, but because it’s only the least we could do to take remedial measures and hopefully protect people. There’s been so much fallout from FOSTA-SESTA. We’ve lost online resources to more safely screen clients, information on sexual health and well being, access to community–all removed or stifled under this law. It spans to anything sex workers participate in. Companies routinely take it upon themselves to significantly expand what’s not allowed to provide themselves with an exaggerated buffer to avoid liability.

EM: It feels like there’s been a chilling effect from that law and what it represents, too, in places like social media and culture at large where there’s a real clamp down on certain depictions of nudity, or discussions of sexual health, and so on.

V: Definitely. We’ve seen people lose Instagram accounts for bikini beach pics, especially if their body type is more sexualized than others: Black and Brown, larger bodies, trans people, all end up as flagged content, versus more mainstream images of people like the Kardashians exposing the same amount of themselves. It’s all very vague and there’s a lot of wiggle room when it comes to enforcement of what does and does not qualify as “sexual” content.

There’s also a reputational risk for companies as well. Nobody likes us–or at least won’t admit to it! There’s this “ick” factor that a lot of people just can’t get past.

EM: Talk a little more about where trafficking comes into the debate. That seems to be the main thing politicians and activists point to when passing laws like FOSTA-SESTA, that they’re just trying to prevent human trafficking. I think we can all agree that trafficking is bad! No one should be forced or coerced to do sex work–or anything! But it doesn’t seem like most of the laws actually meaningfully address that. What’s your take?

V: Absolutely. Trafficking is distinct from sex work, which is the consensual creation of adult content, in that trafficking is specifically forced/coerced labor. In a trafficking scenario, your circumstances are being controlled by someone else. In contrast, sex work and adult entertainment are consensual forms of work between adults.

We’re talking about adults making choices to provide services for other adults. A lot of the efforts that say they’re trying to stop trafficking are really focused on eliminating sex work and the market for sex work altogether. [ed. note - good fucking luck with that, people]

It’s all about choice. People should have a choice in the work that they do. You can join the military and go die in a war but if you wanna do something different with your body then you’re gross and despicable somehow.

EM: What are some of the things you and other advocates are working on that could help better address the rights and needs of sex workers?

V: FSC pushes for better laws and policies that actually center the needs and best interests of the people doing the work. We’re trying to reach out to politicians who sit on the financial committees to explain where we’re coming from and why it’s important. A lot of the issue with this seemingly perpetual stigma around sex workers is that people like to pretend they don’t know sex workers. Like, “This has nothing to do with me over here in Middle America.” But the reality is you’ve probably met and interacted with at least one person who is either currently a sex worker or has done sex work at some point in their life. And rich, powerful people will always have access to it, regardless of the law, of course. There’s just a lot of denial about how common we are.

EM: There’s a lot of talk about whether to decriminalize or legalize sex work entirely. What do you see as the difference between those options? Is there a sense of which would actually be better for sex workers?

V: Full decriminalization is the legal model that most sex worker advocates endorse, and what another organization I’m involved with in my personal life, DecrimIL, focuses on. Legalization allows the work, but adds barriers like costly licenses and conditions and constraints around how and where one works, which can be expensive and time-consuming, and also puts your name into a government database. Even there, though, it’s important to distinguish between true, full decriminalization and other anti-sex work models such as the Nordic Model–which decriminalizes the sex worker’s end of the transaction, while leaving the buyer end criminalized. But the problem with that is then you end up with a situation where it’s mostly people who have the least regard for sex workers coming through, creating a potentially far more dangerous and unpredictable situation. It also puts workers at a continued risk of law enforcement interaction and detainment.

Full decriminalization is the best path to increase the rights and safety of sex workers.

EM: How do we even begin to have those conversations in a good-faith way? How do we get more people to be open to and prioritize addressing these issues, especially given all the stigma and sort of knee-jerk reactions, the stereotypes and fears?

V: I think it starts with being more visible, at least, for those of us who are able to do so safely. Me being visible in my role as a worker is something that can help open those doors. Not to say everyone is gonna have a Hallmark moment about it. But a lot of times you can start to impact people’s thinking about who sex workers are, what adult entertainment is and isn’t, when you hear it from someone who is working in it.

Still, it’s definitely a double-edged sword. I know my recent climbing through higher degrees has made it easier for me to access certain rooms and be more palatable to certain people, but it’s problematic and horrible that those barriers exist to begin with. I’ve learned different things but I’m not a different person than I’ve been. And I’m not an exceptional case.

My goal with all of this…is to get access to those rooms and put a doorstop in the door and never ever let it shut behind me.

EM: That’s great. I wish more people would do that! It seems like it can be hard for people to break through the cultural narrative of being the “exceptional” one. It feels very similar to–if not really the same thing as–the myth of the Model Minority. Like we only deserve equal rights if we’re exceptional in some way or another. But the point should be that everyone deserves equal rights, no matter what. 

Can you talk about any other steps or avenues that your organization is taking, that people should know about?

V: Yes! We’re actually in the process of chartering a federal credit union right now. There should be at least one safe banking option for sex workers while we continue to fight against banking discrimination on a broader scale. It’s going to be a long fight.

We were talking before about how lots of politicians and others use the fight against trafficking as a broad brush to attack consensual sex work. But if you’re fighting trafficking by taking away people’s access to banking, what are the prime circumstances that lead to trafficking? People not having access to or control over their finances, assets, etc. Most trafficking happens at the hands of a relative, a romantic relationship, so this contributes to the problem.

I would love to see some actual clarity from the government on what banks can and cannot do when it comes to discriminating against clients. It’s a much larger issue that impacts more than the adult industry.

EM: If you could wave a magic wand and create your ideal situation for sex workers, what might that look like?

V: It’s sort of a negative desire–just to be left alone would be so nice. A lot of people project a lot of things onto sex workers and the adult industry. They act as if somehow we’ve entered their bedrooms and living rooms and taken control of their children, their sex lives, how their marriages are, all things that have nothing to do with us collectively or as individuals. So it would be nice if people would stop connecting us to their hang ups and personal issues.

In terms of the law, I would love to see decriminalization movements progress in every state, and on the way to that I would like to see intermediary steps toward decriminalization. In Illinois, for instance, there used to be a felony class of prostitution on the books. They passed a law to end that several years ago. Just recently, though, they passed another bill that ensures those old records are automatically sealed now, instead of someone having to apply and seek that out. They also took a bunch of stigmatizing language out of the Illinois code and created a provision that makes it so cops can’t treat sex workers however they want, assault them or have sexual contact with them, during investigations. Unfortunately, that’s still the case in most states.

Overall, we’re asking, how do we attack stigma, reduce the impact of anti-sex work laws, and reduce the level of law enforcement interaction that sex workers experience on a daily basis? All of that helps eat away at the bigger apple of achieving full decriminalization. And even for non-criminalized workers who still end up feeling the repercussions of criminalization. While we fight against issues like banking discrimination, in the meantime, we work to create this credit union as part of addressing people’s more urgent needs and struggles. 

I also want to mention that we (FSC) have lawsuits in seven states against age verification laws. Our case in Texas had oral arguments before the Supreme Court in January, with a decision likely in June. We’re hoping for a positive result, but there’s no real sense of what will happen at this point.

EM: What are your concerns with age verification laws?

V: They vary from state to state, but by and large, they make it so that if a website has 33 ⅓% or more content that’s considered “harmful to minors” by definition in that state, a user has to submit an ID document, biometric data, or other personal information to verify that they are of legal age to access it. Keep in mind, some states include any LGBTQ+ content to be “harmful to minors.”

These laws also mean that anybody with an affected website has to implement tech to run the age verification and pay a per-transaction fee to run it. Even if a user doesn’t buy anything, the site owner still has to pay that fee. So that can easily be millions of dollars. Smaller sites, especially individual creators who own their own websites, just can’t do it. These laws push them entirely out of business.

But that’s just it: The people pushing for and passing these laws aren’t doing it in any kind of good faith. They want us all gone. That’s why people from every area of the industry need to back each other up. No matter what corner you’re in, they’re coming for you.

All in all, we are normal people. We have families, kids, bills, lives, just like anyone else. No one should be persecuted, harmed, or excluded from participating in society just for working to pay their bills and live their life.

Now Read This.

“10 takeaways from the 2025 spring election in Wisconsin” [Dan Shafer at The Recombobulation Area]

Wisconsin voters had a unique opportunity to send a message to Musk, to DOGE, to the Trump administration, and send a message they did. While the more than $25 million that Musk put into the race had many on edge that it could turn the race in favor of right-wing candidate Brad Schimel, the profound backlash Elon invited proved to be a motivating factor for so many of the liberal and independent voters who cast their ballots for Crawford.

“What Will You Do?” [Kaveh Akbar for The Nation]

Ozturk, Douloudi, and Khalil were targeted not because they asserted their opposition to the Palestinian genocide—there are white American citizens organizing against Israel’s occupation too. Ozturk, Douloudi, and Khalil were targeted because they were on student visas; they were targeted because they could be targeted. The onus to protect is, should be, always on the relatively less vulnerable among us. The poet Aracelis Girmay: “& so to tenderness I add my action.”

“The US government is effectively kidnapping people for opposing genocide” [Moira Donegan for The Guardian]

It is up to those us who do have citizenship to speak the truth that the Trump administration is willing to kidnap people for saying: genocide is wrong, Israel is committing it against Palestinians in Gaza, and Palestinians, like all people, deserve not only the food and medicine that Israel is withholding from them, and not only an end to Israel’s relentless and largely indiscriminate bombing, but they deserve freedom, dignity and self-determination. This has become an unspeakable truth in Trump’s America. Soon, there will be other things we are not allowed to say, either. We owe it to one another to speak these urgent truths plainly, loudly and often – while we still can.

“VIDEO: Why gutting USAID will hurt America” [WIRED]

1 billion children immunized. 2.2 billion malaria cases prevented 26 million lives saved from AIDS. For 60 years, USAID, America's Foreign Assistance Agency has fed the hungry and prevented disease worldwide. 40% of total global humanitarian aid came from the US with two thirds of that coming from USAID. Recently, president Trump and Elon Musk all but gutted the agency as part of their so-called America First policies.

“Why the protests mattered…” [Garrett Bucks at The White Pages]

The first step of movement building isn’t about proving anything to the regime in power, though. It’s proving something to ourselves. On Saturday, what we proved was that none of us are actually alone. And that’s terrific, of course, but it is also terrifying. If we aren’t alone, then that means that we are connected to each other, which means, in turn, that we have a responsibility to one another.

Final Frame.

I had the immense privilege of spending the past week in Merida, Yucatan, Mexico with about 100 of my colleagues from (quite literally) across the globe, to meet and collaborate and share ideas about how to make our workplace and our work more inclusive, equitable, and supportive. Happily, we weren’t stuck in the conference rooms all week, and got to take a field trip to a nearby cenote (or natural sinkhole), where we learned about the local Mayan community’s efforts to protect these important water resources and get local people more involved in the efforts to care for the land and water in general. And we got to swim in it! An absolutely incredible experience, all around. Learn more about the biological and cultural importance of the cenotes here.

’Til Next Time

Free all detainees, free Palestine, free Sudan, free Congo. Free yourself. Love you.